Saturday, October 29, 2005

Definition of Irrelevant

Irrelevant: on
Bye week, football's biggest news -
Your coach's new deal.

Friday, October 21, 2005

One at a Time, Thank You.

mormons are evil
instead catholics just do
one girl at a time

- Cam

USC pain, Mormon fun

Like the Greeks, Irish
fought the Trojans hard. But in
a different way.

I especially
liked when the horse pooped out
the dumb Leprechaun.

Got one wife now. I
can have more? Let me check with
the wife... umm, guess not.

The BYU path:
missionary positions.
Like E for Brady.


If Brady Quinn wants
multiple wives, I would jump
all over that s$!t…

- Secret Admirer

Thursday, October 20, 2005


Thanks to BYU
For beginning the season
That got rid of Ty.

- Baltimore Dan

All of those cooters
Will sink Brigham Young's Cougars
ND by twenty.

- Baltimore Dan

With all of those wives
Mormon men have many bushes
But none named Reggie.

- Baltimore Dan

Poodle Pete afraid
The domination over
Wait until next year

- The Cleveland Steamer

Mormonism is Fun.....ny

Joseph Smith read God's
word on thin golden plates by
looking through his hat...

Good move... easier
making shit up when no one
sees what you're reading.

Smith had sex with girls
that were 14. Latter Day
Saint? Nope. R. Kelly.

Joseph Smith spoke with
an angel named Moroni...
Sure about that name?

Smith had thirty-three
Wives. Per Costanza, "Was that
wrong. . . plead ignorance."

Wait... have to poke fun
at their football team. How 'bout
this: they believe Smith.

Mendenhall couldn't
figure out Charlie's offense
even with a hat.

Irish v. Mormons

A blast from haiku past:

You're wife's pretty fine.
No, not her, the other one.
No, the other one.

Friday, October 14, 2005


Irish Crush Trojans
Like squirrels with nuts; Can not
Wait to see K Putt!

- Gerald

Charlie versus Pete
Echoes to be awakened
Even Lou says so

- Gerald

As all players know
Good Bush lasts only so long
Time for a new 1.

- Baltimore Dan

All publicity is good publicity

At pep rally tonight:
Montana, Springsteen, Mayes,
Bon Jovi, Rice ... Putt.

Cold Pizza, Game Day
ESPN Radio...
Yep, irrelevant.

Fuck Carroll. Fuck Bush.
Fuck Leinert. Fuck LenDale White.
And Fuck USC.

ND ball. Pass to
Fasano. Pass to Stovall.
Screen to Walker. Six.

We're gonna rip the
Trojan sheath and see the spew
that's underneath. Spew!

Rolling on the Trojans

Irish will rampage
Charging hard through Trojan line
Leaving Bush exposed

Lost three in a row
Blowouts every single time
Irish pull upset

- Greany

I have a t-shirt:
Catholics versus Condoms
Old, but I like it.

- Anon.

Dragon-man Weis is
Trogdor the Burninator

Burninate SC

USC Songgirls?
More like BP wanna-bes
Binge and purge ladies

- Lorenzo TMP

Weis plan for Trojans:
Take care of business, then flush
The dirty bastrds

- Steve Jones

Bush and the Trojans.
Sounds more like a condom ad
than a football team.

- Kputty

Corso said ND
Would be 0 and 5. Corso,
You're just oh so dumb.

Mark May's a moron,
too. Why does ESPN
hire these dumb hacks?

- Hike-oo

Lost money on the
MSU game; who should
I take this weekend

- Lenny

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Public Service Announcement RE: Trojans

If you're rough and tough,
Trojans are not one hundred
percent guaranteed.

The Cleveland Steamer Delivers; Ms. Cherry Pops Off

Fresh from Cleveland:

I loathe USC
Sunny skies, beautiful girls
Still they have no class

Pompous Pete is sad
Charlie Weis stalks the sidelines
No Tyrone to beat

New from Ms. Cherry:

Carroll, Leinart, Bush
Charlie will have us ready
Can you say Samardzija?*

*(assumes two syllables - no one really seems to know for sure)

From Haiku Ninja:

Said Hoyte to Leinart
Whilst Matt bled internally:
"My nuts in your face."

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Even The Gipper Knew Haiku

"I've got to go, Rock.
It's all right. I'm not afraid.
Some time, Rock, when the

Team is up against
It, when things are wrong and the
Breaks are beating the

Boys — tell them to go
In there with all they've got and
Win just one for the

Gipper. I don't know
where I'll be then, Rock. But I'll
know about it, and

I'll be happy". The
team's up against it. Win this
one for the Gipper.

Monday, October 10, 2005


Gladiators of
the Coliseum?? More like
Chippendale dancers!!

Friday, October 07, 2005


Well, you can’t spell ‘suck’
without USC. Trojans
needed for Yell Squad???

Tuesday, October 04, 2005


Twenty-eight points in
Thirty minutes. Weis could score
With a lesbian.

Can't score this week - no
Opponent. Instead, he'll land
some big time recruits.

Two weeks to prepare
for Southern Cal. Enough time?
Carroll is shaking.

Leinart not concerned.
Why would he be? His day: dance,
football and starlets.

Ballroom dancing won't
be as pleasant after Hoyte
breaks Leinart's left leg.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Halftime assessment

video evidence that
Purdue sucks big wang