Haiku Notre Dame

Get ready

2007-10-19T13:36:00.000-05:00

"This.... is the only
Song we know.... it's boring and
It's slow......" Repeat. "This ...."

Watch Song Girls cheer as
Sharpley hits Kamara deep
for Irish Touchdown.

Southern Cal players
use Trojans when riding on
Traveler bareback.

New Contributor

2007-10-16T16:06:00.000-05:00

A first time haiku-er: HonkyTonk

Broken Trojans as
John David Booty sits the
bench this Saturday.

Let's give her an A for effort!

And now my version:

Busted Trojans up
John David's Booty. Better
than up Reggie's Bush.

Bastard Children

2007-10-12T15:11:00.000-05:00

Mung: fluids from corpse
Shot through anus and consumed.
Synononym: BC

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mung

14 years later

2007-10-12T08:39:00.000-05:00

I still shed a tear
Remembering '93.
Bastard Catholics.

Guest authors:

What thoughts fill my mind?
Disbelief, like '93
Now, sweet Irish Revenge!

- Tim R.

Someone once told me
“Jesus hates the Jesuits.”
Golden Eagles suck.
- EZE

Who’s undefeated?
Role reversal, time to dash
B.C.’s title hope
- Marcel L.

Basho, where are you?

2007-09-20T07:49:00.000-05:00

uninspired Irish

are no excuse for writing

uninspired haiku

A spiritual

2007-09-19T13:33:00.000-05:00

Help / Master beats me
The world beats me too, Lord / But
Irish beat no one.

Putting the Weekend in Perspective

2007-09-10T22:08:00.000-05:00

Next to the Irish
Britney Spears looked kind of good
by comparison.

Tame the PSUsy cats

2007-09-07T12:59:00.000-05:00

You can’t spell “pussy”
without P-S-U! Two words-
Beaver Stadium.

where to go from here

2007-09-06T11:40:00.000-05:00

Here's an idea:
Teach the offensive linemen
How to block this week

Clausen's spiky hair
Will scare the Nittany Cubs
Into submission

Let's hope Justin Brown
Only bitch-slaps opponents
Before the whistle

Six PM start means
Drunk State fans will miss Allen's
First touchdown return

3 + 13 + 7 = 0

2007-09-03T17:13:00.000-05:00

A wise man once said:
"The team with three quarterbacks
Has no quarterback"

Hot or Not?

2007-08-31T08:07:00.000-05:00

Weis: “I’m the one who

decides.” If it was up to

me…Brady with hair!

New tailgate tent…new
SUV…new last name…same
ol’ lush in Joyce North.

Mystery Man and Chan

2007-08-30T08:50:00.000-05:00

Who will it be at
QB? Jones? Sharpley? Claussen?
Anticipation...

Georgia Tech loses
Reggie Ball. Addition by
Subtraction? Hope not.

Who names their son Chan?
Why not Ponch? Or Stu? Or Tip?
At least it's not "Chris."

I expect to see
Armando dancing in the
End zone Saturday.

Game 1

2007-08-30T07:04:00.000-05:00

Quarterback secret
and Corwin Brown's new defense.
and the new Joyce lot.

Too many changes
Only way to get through them:
Bring on the jello.

We loves the little kittens from LSU... so cute and cuddly

2007-01-03T15:27:00.000-06:00

Nicknamed "Tigers". So
Unique (um... Auburn, Clemson
Memphis, Princeton...), no?

Four LSU kids
Break curfew. Suspended? Of
Course... for first series.

Lesson to be learned:
If you want to play, you can't
shoot anyone... much.

Question: am I wrong
that LSU fans by rule
Have few or no teeth?

Time to end the bowl
Streak, Charlie. Go Irish, Beat
LSU kittens!

JC is in 'da house

2007-01-03T06:42:00.000-06:00

Dear tiny, 8 pound
6 ounce baby Jesus - please
make the bowl streak end!

Go Irish - Beat Tigers!!

Mud Dogs win the Bourbon Bowl!

2007-01-02T21:42:00.000-06:00

While in New Orleans
Charlie hits recruiting trail hard -
Lands five star Boucher

At Pat O'Brien's
One can make money for booze
By selling used glassware.

The Key to the Game:
Make sure JaMarcus Russell
Stays on Bourbon Street

Patino and Cards:
A roundball appetizer
Captain Toke on bench

Thirteen years ago?
Die monkey! Get off our back!
Huh. He said "get off".

This... is the only song we know... it's boring and it's slow....

2006-11-25T12:02:00.000-06:00

As Dad used to say,
Trojans burst under pressure --
Irish number one!

SC's fans will be
Back home rooting for Bruins
Again in no time.

SC post-game plans:
After Irish win, can try
Dancing with the Stars.

After SC loss
Jarrett will cry at home on
Couch with Nick Lachey.

Abiamiri
Will knock Bayou accent from
John David Booty.

Derek Landri makes
All-America showing
Back home in Cali.

$UCk

2006-11-22T11:16:00.000-06:00

Remember the time
when Leinhart knocked some chick up?
Could have been Paris.

Univer$ity
of $poiled Children - Trojan
fans are huge dickheads.

Callous? Perhaps...

2006-11-17T17:40:00.000-06:00

I feel I should pause;
Shed a tear; say a kind word.
But no... not from me.

E! News

2006-11-15T06:27:00.000-06:00

Biggest story on
Saturday: Buckeyes vs.
Skunkbears? Or TomKat?

The Irish will drop
Army so fast…just like Brit
dropped K-Fed / Fed-X.

Fly Guys

2006-11-09T10:10:00.000-06:00

When I was little,
I had a soft spot in my
heart for hot fly guys.

Now I’m all grown up
and Tom is short & crazy.
Brady should fly jets.

Off we go, into the wild blue yonder

2006-11-09T09:28:00.000-06:00

Air Force talked some smack
About Irish D. News flash:
Flyboys ain't too good.

Air Force couldn't beat
Navy, or the Mormons, in
Colorado Springs.

Shark and Rhema will
Break Irish records thanks to
Porous Falcons D.

Love the attitude...
Keep it while dropping cluster
Bombs on Osama.

Whoa Nelly

2006-11-06T16:14:00.000-06:00

Team anxious this week
So they can get to stompin
on those air force ones.

Just another loss for North Carolina

2006-11-01T11:37:00.000-06:00

Lame duck coach Bunning
Supposed to be nice guy. But
one and seven's bad.

If NC loses
It's just another loss. A
Win makes their season.

Reality is
Come Saturday, UNC
Will be one and eight.

Who does NC hire
To replace Bunning? If they're
Lucky... Johnelle Smith.

Johnelle Smith is a
baby blue coach if ever
there was one. Whiner.

Best reason to play
Football for NC? Tickets
To basketball games.

Hip, Hip, Hoorah!

2006-10-26T15:58:00.000-05:00

Honor the Navy.
Busy defending coastlines,
No time for goal lines.

Tough knocking Buckeyes
When Fighting Irish vie for
The Commanders’ Cup.

Hooray midshipmen!
Fabulass is happiest
awash in seamen.

You gotta respect Navy...

2006-10-26T13:59:00.000-05:00

My friend played football
for Navy. Best quote ever
was - “Nuts in the face.”

Go Irish - Beat Seamen!!

Enough already

2006-10-24T11:13:00.000-05:00

I enjoy a good
Comeback just like the next guy.
But enough's enough.

Know what's better than
A good comeback? A solid,
convincing triumph.

ucla

2006-10-20T07:06:00.000-05:00

Powder Blue and Gold
uniforms - UCLA
is just plain fugly.

Did you read South Bend
Tribune? ND Frosh QB
nicknamed “Double D.”

UCLA - pretty, but not much there there

2006-10-17T11:04:00.000-05:00

Beautiful campus.
Lots of hotties on parade.
Mediocre team.

Volleyball team would
be better competition
Against the Irish.

Vaunted D has faced
tough O's: Utah, Rice, Stanford
and Arizona.

UCLA was
Much better with Troy Aikman
Than with Pat Cowan.

Cowan lost his voice.
Cheap shot by Oregon... or
Scared to play Irish?

Hold on just a second

2006-10-06T15:28:00.000-05:00

Are you serious?
A tree? Not a whole forest?
Or even a grove?

It is a fun tree.
It creates controversy.
Known to show up drunk.

Trent Edwards is like
A tree, standing tall in the
Pocket. Then cut down.

Timber!!!!!!!

2006-10-04T06:55:00.000-05:00

“Hey Johnelle! You have
gone off the deep end, freak show.”
Nice Spartan meltdown...

Stanford has no wins
this year. Why start now? Irish
will chop down the tree.

God, that look on Brock Spack's face was phenomenal

2006-09-28T13:33:00.000-05:00

Purdue - not football
Team that strikes fear into hearts
Of fans everywhere.

Curtis Painter, on
Saturday, will look like art:
The Scream by Munch. AAAAAH!

The goal for Purdue
Defense this week: don't let Brock
Spack look like this.

Purdue: good place to
Become an engineer, not
A football player.

Purdue team must be
regular since Tiller is
Quaker Oats spokesman.

Class? Who needs that?

2006-09-26T14:44:00.000-05:00

John L. Smith to team:
"You got beat. Your fault we lost.
Go guard our big S."

Dumbass. ND need
not plant a flag. Rather sing
and dance on your field.

Too close for comfort...

2006-09-26T06:30:00.000-05:00

Oops!!! I (almost) crapped
my pants like JoePa during
the MSU game.

"I got off the field
and did a couple of things,
and then felt better..."
-JoePa

MSUcks

2006-09-22T06:06:00.000-05:00

I hope MSU
Eats spinach before the game.
Irish eat Wheaties!!

After practice last
Night, I yelled “Go Irish!!!” to
Brady…me, stalker??

Anger

2006-09-21T12:27:00.000-05:00

Weis says flag thing not
Needed to motivate his
Team. Well, I'M still pissed.

Fucking Spartans! Plant
flag on us? Shove megaphone
Trophy up assholes.

Cocky Spartans! Talk
Shit before game? Will lick own
Sphincters after loss.

Baby Spartans! Sad
Weis said we won't lose to them
Again? He's damn right.

Sheep raping, circle
Jerking, shit wallowing, sack
Shaving nobodies.

JG in the House (not the Big House)

2006-09-15T07:37:00.000-05:00

You've got a Coach Carr

We want a trip to Glendale

Irish make that deal.

A Classic Showdown,

Irish end the suspense with

first quarter knockout.

PLS in the house

2006-09-14T10:32:00.000-05:00

A contribution from a fellow philosopher king:

Picture this: Lloyd Carr
with no shirt jogging. Fleshy
man boobs bouncing. Eek!

scUM of the earth

2006-09-14T06:37:00.000-05:00

Lloyd Carr has man boobs.
Ann Arbor is a whore. Muck
Fichigan bi-atch!!

Auto workers, circle jerkers

2006-09-13T10:08:00.000-05:00

Need real proof of Llloyd
Carr's mediocrity? He
Lost to Willingham.

When Irish beat the
Skunkbears, Bo Schembechler will
perform seppuku.

Bo Schembechler, Lloyd
Carr, Fritz Crisler, Fielding Yost:
All scared of ND.

Tom Brady owes his
whole damn career to Robot
Genius Charlie Weis.

Samardzija: Serb word
for "will drop Cleveland steamer
on Lloyd Carr's manboobs."

The Victors?

2006-09-13T08:32:00.000-05:00

Going through my head:
Hail to the Motherfuckers
Assholes of the world.

The Radiant Afterglow

2006-09-10T20:55:00.000-05:00

The Epic Blowout
From pained experience we speak
Best give, not receive.

PSUsy

2006-09-06T21:11:00.000-05:00

You can't spell "pussy"
without P-S-U. Irish
will castrate Penn State.

JoePa has fallen
and he "can't get up"...clap clap!
Got viagra? Geez...

Incontinent ... or scared?

2006-09-06T15:11:00.000-05:00

Depends: answer to
A question, or first thing on
JoePa's shopping list?

Don't worry JoePa,
Ty Willie also needed
Game day pottie breaks.

Why will JoePa soil
his pants? Morelli's first road
Game's at Notre Dame.

Zbikowski: a
Polish word meaning "reason
JoePa shits himself."

Where is Haiku Ninja?

2006-09-01T15:19:00.000-05:00

The Blog Creator?
Not one haiku penned by him
Where could Ninja be?

Rumor has it: Locked
in a room with pictures of
Walker sits Ninja.

Tommy Z says...

2006-09-01T11:59:00.000-05:00

Calvin Johnson is

Big. So was Robert Bell – for

Forty-nine seconds.

Identity Crisis

2006-08-31T12:54:00.000-05:00

Yellow Jackets or
Rambling Wreck of Georgia Tech.
Either way: Losers.

I Pity the Foolin'

2006-08-31T12:05:00.000-05:00

Contributions from Foolin'... our newest Haiku-er:

Passer Brady Quinn
can break all ND records.
Twelve games to Heisman

Darius Walker
will rush two hundred yards with
home field advantage.

Gailey at the helm,
Cox and Ball in the backfield;
“Jacket” joke somewhere…

3 Live Crew

2006-08-31T09:50:00.000-05:00

Every 'ting you want -
Brady, Zibby and Travis.
Me love you long time!

Beat the Meat Bees

2006-08-29T16:54:00.000-05:00

Wikipedia
States Yellow Jackets also
Are known as meat bees.

Problem with meat bees?
Try insecticide, like a
Potent passing game.

Their D C is Jon
Tenuta. May as well be
Judy Tenuta.

Head Coach is named Chan.
Who names their son "Chan?" Didn't
they love their own kid?

Abiamiri
Nigerian word meaning
"Gonna fuck you up."

Burn HIgh Your Fires

2006-08-29T10:34:00.000-05:00

Submissions from The Constrictor:

Herbstreit says 12 wins
Mark May's head still up his ass
I pity the fool.

Thank you Coach Urban
For going to Florida.
Mediocrity.

Hard working, nasty.
Charlie Weis philosophy?
Or Mugsy's left hand?

Haikus difficult
About average Georgia Tech.
Blah Yellow Jackets.

16 days and counting

2006-08-17T15:31:00.000-05:00

Good start to morning:
Band playing Victory March
First time this season.

Still over two weeks.
I've got Georgia on my mind.
And also Zibby.

Time to start stocking
up on Jello and cheap beer.
Joyce North - be there soon.

I will be fired before September 2. Bank on it.

2006-08-17T15:15:00.000-05:00

Can't focus. Season
So close, can smell it. Charlie
Gave me ADD.

It happens

2006-01-04T09:18:00.000-06:00

As Crash Davis said,
Sometimes you win, sometimes you
Lose, sometimes it rains.

Mmm... Buckeyes

2005-12-19T16:21:00.000-06:00

Buckeye: A tasty
holiday confection or
ugly ass mascot?

Tequila + Little Putt = Fiesta

2005-12-19T15:45:00.000-06:00

Not a Fiesta
Til Hoyte busts Brutus Buckeye
Like a Pinata.

Fun things to do in
Phoenix: eat worm, hump cacti,
Hook up in stairwells.

Win or lose the game,
Hawk's the victor cause he leaves
With Brady's sister.

High expectations,
Touch of Nasty. Thanks Chuck. Go
Irish in Oh-Six.

Fiesta Bowl Bound

2005-12-09T07:51:00.000-06:00

The art of haiku reaches dizzying heights during bowl season. Here is a sampling of new work by two of our featured artists, The Cleveland Steamer and Victor the Love Constrictor.

Dumbest undergrads

golf, art appreciation?

GPA one six

No academics

eighty-five thousand students

Your team should be good

Spent four years down there

Tried to be a Buckeye fan

Then I saw the light

- Victor the Love Constrictor (a graduate of the Ohio State Medical School)

Brutus Buckeye weird
A testicle for a head
Kick him in the nuts

Buckeyes still whining
About losing to Longhorns
Can we all spell choke

Invite the Buckeyes
To join in the haiku but
Cannot count to five

I hate OSU
Surrounded by the Buckeyes
Stench everywhere

- From the Cleveland Steamer (not sure if he holds a degree from anywhere).

A colorful palate of competition

2005-11-22T14:27:00.000-06:00

First the Orange, now
The Cardinal. When do we play
the brawling Fuschia?

Stanford Cardinal;
Syracuse Orange... stupid
names - What's up with that?

Stanford's best win: beat
Cal in "Band on the Field" game.
Best loss? Willingham.

Stanford's only chance?
Charlie eats too much turkey,
Can't move from table.

Montezuma Monroe can't be happy

2005-11-18T11:39:00.000-06:00

Syracuse sucking --
No doubt Jim Brown angriest
black man on planet

I'm hoping Hakim
Warrick won't show up with "You're
my bitch" windmill dunks.

Yo ND Raps!!

2005-11-18T06:41:00.000-06:00

Swanny wrote “Booty”.
‘Canes in hot water for rap.
Watch Yo ND raps!!

http://www.nd.edu/~blenk/Darius%20Rhema%20and%20MoSto%20rapping.mpeg

Syracuse... not good at football, and their mascot is a fruit -- not that there's anything wrong with that

2005-11-16T15:58:00.000-06:00

Only important
tidbit about Syracuse:
It's fucking cold there.

Hate South Bend winters?
Tis nothing. Winds in 'Cuse cause worse
Brain freeze than slurpees.

Cuse boys will come to
South Bend wearing speedos and
SPF 15.

They were "Orangemen,"
Now "Orange." More PC - just
Offend Crayola.

Honestly, though. Who
Gets fired up to go win
One for the Orange...

Musings on a Service Academy Weekend... from the Steamer

2005-11-11T08:02:00.000-06:00

Is hard to make fun
Of Naval Academy
Crush them anyway

Joyce North parking lot
Will be rocking and rolling
Putt and Steamer style

I loves the Seamen
Playing with my submarine
In the tub at night

Last time Navy won
Kennedy was President
Bopping Miss Monroe

Tell the liquor stores
To stock up on gin this week
Steamer arrives soon

- All courtesy of the Cleveland Steamer

Beat Seamen

2005-11-11T06:39:00.000-06:00

Why can’t breakfast joints
serve beer?? It seems logical
to me. Beat Seamen!

Seamen .... get it? Seamen...

2005-11-10T09:28:00.000-06:00

Playing Midshipmen
Is like kissing your sister.
Don't ask how I know....

Confucious says: is
Nice have Navy rivalry
But watch the cut blocks.

Hope for Navy: they're
Five foot nuthin', hundred and
Nuthin' ... Rudy-esque?

Thanks for the service
To our country ... and losing
Forty-one straight games.

ND has Navy
Ties... I hear that our coaching
Staff is a SEAL team.

Volunteer?

2005-11-02T13:49:00.000-06:00

Volunteer? Isn't
That a Cub Scout level? Right
Before Webelos.

Volunteer? For what?
To go from powerhouse to
Outhouse in a year?

Volunteers: Like Peace
Corps staff, but without the sense
Of doing good things.

Volunteer: I guess
Mascot with rifle can call
Himself what he wants.

Volunteer: to come
Forward, enlist, sign up, take
It in the keister.

Bright Orange is a
Great color. Looks like traffic
Cones at accident.

Jason Whitlock is
Someone who should Volunteer
For a brain transplant.

Jason Whitlock: more
Useless than Willingham? Well,
Won't go quite that far.

FabulASS Kickin'

2005-11-02T13:39:00.000-06:00

Volunteers? More like
Volunteering to get ass
kicking from Irish.

pUmpkin paTch

2005-11-02T12:10:00.000-06:00

Lulu & Junior –
Tennessee’s biggest fans. They
resemble pumpkins…

http://www.luluandjunior.com/

Fresh Droppings From The Cleveland Steamer

2005-11-02T11:37:00.000-06:00

Longing to be home
The Vols watch Deliverance
Squeal like a piggy

The Tennessee Vols
Are about to encounter
The Irish Orange Crush

Hate the color orange
Being Irish Catholic
Makes my green blood boil

Haiku ND fans
Know how to party and drink
Poets at their best

Locknocker

2005-11-02T11:20:00.000-06:00

Whitlock's delusions:
Hurts the cause of equality
Like Hoyte on Clausen.

Pick up some doughnuts;
Demote coach; find an offense:
Fullmer's to-do list.

Contract extension?
Win, and you'll get more than that -
If you catch my drift.*

* All the 'nany one would want at the Linebacker.

Definition of Irrelevant

2005-10-29T14:43:00.000-05:00

Irrelevant: on
Bye week, football's biggest news -
Your coach's new deal.

One at a Time, Thank You.

2005-10-21T18:46:00.000-05:00

mormons are evil
instead catholics just do
one girl at a time

- Cam

USC pain, Mormon fun

2005-10-21T12:32:00.000-05:00

Like the Greeks, Irish
fought the Trojans hard. But in
a different way.

I especially
liked when the horse pooped out
the dumb Leprechaun.

Got one wife now. I
can have more? Let me check with
the wife... umm, guess not.

The BYU path:
missionary positions.
Like E for Brady.

Polygamy?

2005-10-21T07:34:00.000-05:00

If Brady Quinn wants
multiple wives, I would jump
all over that s$!t…

- Secret Admirer

BYhaikU

2005-10-20T22:13:00.000-05:00

Thanks to BYU
For beginning the season
That got rid of Ty.

- Baltimore Dan

All of those cooters
Will sink Brigham Young's Cougars
ND by twenty.

- Baltimore Dan

With all of those wives
Mormon men have many bushes
But none named Reggie.

- Baltimore Dan

Poodle Pete afraid
The domination over
Wait until next year

- The Cleveland Steamer

Mormonism is Fun.....ny

2005-10-20T15:35:00.000-05:00

Joseph Smith read God's
word on thin golden plates by
looking through his hat...

Good move... easier
making shit up when no one
sees what you're reading.

Smith had sex with girls
that were 14. Latter Day
Saint? Nope. R. Kelly.

Joseph Smith spoke with
an angel named Moroni...
Sure about that name?

Smith had thirty-three
Wives. Per Costanza, "Was that
wrong. . . plead ignorance."

Wait... have to poke fun
at their football team. How 'bout
this: they believe Smith.

Mendenhall couldn't
figure out Charlie's offense
even with a hat.

Irish v. Mormons

2005-10-20T09:32:00.000-05:00

A blast from haiku past:

You're wife's pretty fine.
No, not her, the other one.
No, the other one.

Snodomy

2005-10-14T13:41:00.000-05:00

Irish Crush Trojans
Like squirrels with nuts; Can not
Wait to see K Putt!

- Gerald

Charlie versus Pete
Echoes to be awakened
Even Lou says so

- Gerald

As all players know
Good Bush lasts only so long
Time for a new 1.

- Baltimore Dan

All publicity is good publicity

2005-10-14T10:07:00.000-05:00

At pep rally tonight:
Montana, Springsteen, Mayes,
Bon Jovi, Rice ... Putt.

Cold Pizza, Game Day
ESPN Radio...
Yep, irrelevant.

Fuck Carroll. Fuck Bush.
Fuck Leinert. Fuck LenDale White.
And Fuck USC.

ND ball. Pass to
Fasano. Pass to Stovall.
Screen to Walker. Six.

We're gonna rip the
Trojan sheath and see the spew
that's underneath. Spew!

Rolling on the Trojans

2005-10-14T10:05:00.000-05:00

Irish will rampage
Charging hard through Trojan line
Leaving Bush exposed

Lost three in a row
Blowouts every single time
Irish pull upset

- Greany

I have a t-shirt:
Catholics versus Condoms
Old, but I like it.

- Anon.

Dragon-man Weis is
Trogdor the Burninator
Burninate SC

USC Songgirls?
More like BP wanna-bes
Binge and purge ladies

- Lorenzo TMP

Weis plan for Trojans:
Take care of business, then flush
The dirty bastrds

- Steve Jones

Bush and the Trojans.
Sounds more like a condom ad
than a football team.

- Kputty

Corso said ND
Would be 0 and 5. Corso,
You're just oh so dumb.

Mark May's a moron,
too. Why does ESPN
hire these dumb hacks?

- Hike-oo

Lost money on the
MSU game; who should
I take this weekend

- Lenny

Public Service Announcement RE: Trojans

2005-10-13T12:04:00.000-05:00

If you're rough and tough,
Trojans are not one hundred
percent guaranteed.

The Cleveland Steamer Delivers; Ms. Cherry Pops Off

2005-10-13T09:21:00.000-05:00

Fresh from Cleveland:

I loathe USC
Sunny skies, beautiful girls
Still they have no class

Pompous Pete is sad
Charlie Weis stalks the sidelines
No Tyrone to beat

New from Ms. Cherry:

Carroll, Leinart, Bush
Charlie will have us ready
Can you say Samardzija?*

*(assumes two syllables - no one really seems to know for sure)

From Haiku Ninja:

Said Hoyte to Leinart
Whilst Matt bled internally:
"My nuts in your face."

Even The Gipper Knew Haiku

2005-10-12T15:14:00.000-05:00

"I've got to go, Rock.
It's all right. I'm not afraid.
Some time, Rock, when the

Team is up against
It, when things are wrong and the
Breaks are beating the

Boys — tell them to go
In there with all they've got and
Win just one for the

Gipper. I don't know
where I'll be then, Rock. But I'll
know about it, and

I'll be happy". The
team's up against it. Win this
one for the Gipper.

MuSCles??

2005-10-10T10:39:00.000-05:00

Gladiators of
the Coliseum?? More like
Chippendale dancers!!

SUCk

2005-10-07T09:09:00.000-05:00

Well, you can’t spell ‘suck’
without USC. Trojans
needed for Yell Squad???

Afterglow

2005-10-04T13:40:00.000-05:00

Twenty-eight points in
Thirty minutes. Weis could score
With a lesbian.

Can't score this week - no
Opponent. Instead, he'll land
some big time recruits.

Two weeks to prepare
for Southern Cal. Enough time?
Carroll is shaking.

Leinart not concerned.
Why would he be? His day: dance,
football and starlets.

Ballroom dancing won't
be as pleasant after Hoyte
breaks Leinart's left leg.

Halftime assessment

2005-10-01T20:19:00.000-05:00

Indisputable
video evidence that
Purdue sucks big wang

Streak Breaker

2005-09-30T16:52:00.000-05:00

For an Irish win
This hot guy needs to hook up
before game. Takers?

More Boiler Submission

2005-09-30T13:42:00.000-05:00

Having passed into Friday afternoon, the pace of submission is picking up.

It is a good bet
That Brady will pull a train
After the fourth win.

- Baltimore Dan

Jeff was Irish fan
Now he's Boilermaker man
What a big shit can

- The Cleveland Steamer

Note to Joe Tiller:
Stop selling my grandmother
Your damn insurance.

- Anon.

The Lady in Black,
Silver Twins and Gold Dusters:
Hookers on parade.

- Anon.

A little creepy,
A whole lotta sad. Stop by
Purdue Band Fan's page.

- Harold Faltermeyer

Shiny Objects

2005-09-30T09:33:00.000-05:00

Best way to distract
Purdue players and fans? Show
them shiny objects.

Purdue Haiku Circa 2004

2005-09-30T09:27:00.000-05:00

Boilermaker U
Nothing but a bunch of hoes
Seeking a Tiller

I'd pay a dollar
To jump through the big dumb drum.
Golden Girls are hot.

The Cleveland Steamer Weighs In

2005-09-30T08:22:00.000-05:00

Here are two fresh ones from Ralph the Cleveland Steamer:

I hate black and gold
Running it up last season
Revenge will be sweet

Coach Tiller is fat
Charlie Weis not much better
Role models for me

Fortune Cookies by DT

2005-09-29T14:29:00.000-05:00

Confucious says, when
In pile after gang tackle,
Squeeze opponent's balls.

Confucious says: Team
must focus on beat down. Not
wise look past Purdue.

PU...what smells??

2005-09-29T13:32:00.000-05:00

Purdue Pete will seek
comfort from blow-up doll when
Irish crush Purdue.

Zeitgeist

2005-09-23T17:21:00.000-05:00

From Geist:

Slacker who did not
Post until the Husky game
I was 0 and 3

Huskies have as much
Chance to beat Irish as to
Win Iditarod

Tyrone Willingham
Will earn the Huskies' sixth L
Against the Irish

Arf bow wow ruf ruf
Means "Coach Ty will not change fate"
Irish get third win

West coast offense is
Not enough to beat BQ
To D-Walk touchdown

Philisophical Differences

2005-09-23T16:25:00.000-05:00

From Wilmer:

Ty and CW: A comparison of their powerful conclusions to their pregame speeches:

“Perhaps, if it be
Within your grasp, you can win.”
“go win the damn game.”

Port-a-potTY??

2005-09-23T10:57:00.000-05:00

“Alright guys, put the
Port-a-potTY over there…
During games, I poop.”

-TY

What do you mean I just don't fit?

2005-09-22T19:56:00.000-05:00

What could be worse than
Martha Stewart's "Apprentice"?
Willingham's Huskies?

Win two, lose the next.
Then sign three recruits that week.
Only at N.D.

Back when I grew up
Huskies were jeans, not a team.
I was a fat kid.

TYpo???

2005-09-22T14:23:00.000-05:00

"I'll let the pubic
question that all the time," Ty
said. TYpo?? Boner?

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=2169031

Husky Haiku

2005-09-22T10:03:00.000-05:00

Weak showing of Haiku this week... until DT stepped up to the plate this morning:

Husky players will
Never improve until Ty's
Fired in three years.

Ty, the "molder of
men," can't teach jack shit about
how to play, okay?

Tyrone will have front
Row seats as his former team
Embarrasses him.

Tyrone's "never had
a bad day"... well, there's a first
time for everything.

Thrown Down from the Jersey Guy

2005-09-16T14:31:00.000-05:00

After ND wins,
"Bow to your sensei!" says Weis
To coach John L. Smith.

Coach Smith calls Brady
"Quinn the Eskimo." Dipshit's
Gonna regret it.